Skate Anatomy: Ryan Smith

By: | Tuesday, July 25, 2006 //

Ryan Smith

Left side

Broken collarbone:
“I broke this when I was a year and a half old and it just kept breaking throughout my adolescent life, a whopping 12 times on a number of random things that I barely even remember. One time was from skating, but each one was as lame as the next as far as I’m concerned.”

Shrapnel elbow:
“Enlisted in the Zero Army and went out on the front lines in ‘Operation Dying to Live.’ Caught a hot piece of shrapnel to the elbow. Would have lost my arm if it weren’t for Private Dupont. That guy carried me 40 clicks on his back upstream through Apache Junction, under heavy enemy fire to a veterinary hospital where they were able to save it. Delta Force: ‘Leave no man behind!’”

Snapped wrist:
“Slipped out backside 50-50ing a rail and broke it. I feel like I should elaborate more, but this stuff is just hard to spruce up. It’s kind of just about telling what got hurt where and taking up space. Is that crazy? At one point in skateboard fashion, having a wrist cast was the shit. That might sound silly now, but asking a skater back in ’93 to wear tight woman’s pants. Now that would be crazy!”

Exploded finger:
“Caught my finger on the top of a fence in a crappy park and completely exploded it, meat everywhere, only then to receive a bo/bo stitch job from some quack around the corner. Now my finger looks like butt cheeks, no word of a lie. I kid you not!”

Center

Sternum:
“I was snowboarding. That says it all right there.”

Broken rib: “
Slammed in a bowl and broke my rib. Life goes on.”

Right side

Mashed thumb:
“This is my most recent injury which I received during my last trip to Oz. I was basically being a f–king retard and put too much wax on a hubba ledge. This caused me to slip out and consequently mash my thumb into the ground like a cigarette butt, leaving me with no other option but to fly home and get reconstructive surgery.”

Ankle roll:
“Good old fashioned ankle rolls. It happens to everyone randomly, not even really worth mentioning. Kind of like a shinner.”

Hyper extended elbow:
“I’m actually kind of getting bummed out here thinking of all this lame stuff, so all I am going to say about this one is that some dip shit cut me off in a park, sending me 100 mph into a quarter pipe, blowing my shit to bits and now it only moves about 70 percent of it’s original range. See: these are not nice thoughts here.” SB

Related Posts:

  • No Related Posts

Comments